Family friends mocked on Leno.

Most of the time I ignore any forwarded email originating from my parents. Despite my great love for them, I cannot bring myself to consume the schlocky spam they lovingly redistribute. It's not healthy.

But Mom sent me something pretty hilarious today and I wanted to share it with you guys. Apparently our good family friends, The Blums, made it onto Jay Leno by accident.

Leno does this bit where he cracks jokes about things his producers find in newspapers and magazines. Here's the Blums.

It's a Society Pages tribute to a recent gala of some sort.


Yep. A bunch of white people representing the "58th Multicultural Awards Ceremony"

Anyway, I thought it was pretty funny. The Blums are fantastic people but still.. nice zinger Leno.

- B

7-Eleven Meal

I prepared a plate for this wonderful meal I bought at 7-eleven. I've got mixed fruits. You can see the kiwis and strawberries and mango. Mostly, the mango comes slightly less than fully ripe, but I like the sour taste of it. The chips are spicy jalapeño, 7 eleven brand. Shit. The topo chico just exploded all over my computer - just now. I wiped it down with a spare shirt and opened a million programs in the process, like powerpoint. It takes a long time to close. I like Topo Chico. Though I wish they would package them in glass bottles like they used to.

I enjoy hot sauce, and it can cover up mediocre tasting food. Not that any of these products lack that zest, but I apply hot sauce liberally all the same. Cholula is preferred. I'm stuck with this Tapatío stuff for now.



Boy, my life is exciting! This is it, ladies and gentlemen.

Weekly Press Update: Tabloid Edition

Is it just me or are we beloved by all? It baffles me that we aren't rolling in the big bucks when we are clearly the toast of the town. Just check out these cats who blogged us bigtime this week:

Young Hollywood is an entertainment blog. (Lindsay Lohan was spotted at Braum's ordering a double-double) Of super-star Marshall Galactic they say Marshall is lose and confidant, dropping jokes and telling me about growing up in Texas, which he says he’s proud of, 'but for no real reason at all.'" There's a whole article but I'd rather you send them some traffic love so check it out here.

Rockerrazzi is "celebrity street reporting" at its finest. So like all big celebrities, we get to be "band of the week." Uh.. hell yeah! Thank you Rockerrazzi! (Sounds like an on-the-boarder mixed drink, right? I'll have two Rockerrazzis and a Zima)

Last but not least is All-Access Music. Our friend Meijin (I love saying her name out loud and in a sexy slightly gruff voice) posted a very in depth write-up based on her experience at several of our LA shows. The article's great so show her some love and go read it yourself.


Okay, time for my massage.

- B

Feast your eyes on photos from The Good Hurt (Los Angeles)

What can I say about The Good Hurt? Should I lament the lack of liquor license? Shall we recall the classy stripper pole, the greasy pool tables, the "booby girls"? Well, I guess I'll let the pictures do the talking. Feast your eyes on Galactic as Jim James. . .
oh and seriously, don't order the Tequila. it's "wine tequila" (tastes like tequila, kicks like wine- lose lose situation)







Special thanks to DHall, a strong ally and the eye behind these killer pics.

I am not drunk enough message her. Maybe enough to lose at halo. But not that again.

Thank You, Rockerazzi

Well, a big thanks from the band, now comfortably making music in Texas. This week has been exciting. Many things have happened all over the world. Rocks hundreds of miles wide have collided and burst into fragments between Mars and Jupiter. Hundreds of stars have collapsed inward over their own burning carapaces and cast a cosmic snarl of debris into space, like millions of hot phosphorous dots. Babies were born. All this...this week. And to be the band of this week? Amazing!

Really, thank you guys for noticing us and throwing us up your page. In a thank you gesture, I will post a link to Rockerazzi.

Check out the Ron Perlman interview just below our feature. I think he's a dead ringer Tom Waits.

Friday: Astronomy Term of the Week

Champagne Supernova
- noun

Now that I have successfully lodged a catchy brit pop melody in your head for the next day or two, I'll inform you what the term means to those interested in astronomy.So, quick overview. A 1a type supernova is one that results from a white dwarf star (small, white, extremely dense). When a white dwarf star is stable, it fights off gravitational collapse because it supported by something called electron degeneracy pressure. Basically it is squeezed so tightly, the only reason it doesn't collapse is because two subatomic particles can't occupy the same quantum space. However, when a white dwarf star exceeds 1.4 times the mass of the sun, the uncertainty principle fails and the quantum space is compromised and the dwarf explodes into a supernova and finally becomes a black hole! Generally, the extra mass added to the white dwarf has been borrowed from a nearby neighbor; the matter is pulled in and builds up until it reaches 1.4 solar masses.

The Champagne Supernova shook up astronomy because in this particular white dwarf supernova, the object reached over 2 solar masses before going supernova. I mean, this happens all the time. Every couple of years modern science is shaken to the core of its being.

I believe the french observed the phenomena. Why they named "SN 2003fg" after a british band I'm not sure of. Don't they hate each other? The Champagne Supernova was an important discovery because it cast doubt on whether type 1a supernova's could be used as standard candles. Before C.H, scientists believed that all 1a supernova's behaved the same way and gave off a standard luminosity. So if you see an object and can't tell how far away it is, but a 1a supernova is nearby, the problem is solved. You know the luminosity so you can deduce the objects distance from Earth. And yes, Oasis can up with the name first.

I'm not sure how this played out, but I can guarantee a lot of things have changed. There is much more to read about if you're interested. Like they said to me when I toured that cave in Utah, I'm only a guest on your journey.

To Go out...Or not go out.

I've really been putting in my time at the boxing gym.
I want to be a mean monster again.

And I also need to go see some shows. Bright Light is playing tonight, and I really want to see that. But I'm afraid that the presence of a bar will have disastrous consequences. I can't just sip on tomato juice all night.

I used to like real hoppy beers, IPA's and stouts. But I developed this habit before leaving on tour. I would remain in solitude. Put on a Jackie Chan or zombie movie, during which I consumed to 40 oz. Dos Equis. I would squeeze lime all over it and salt religiously before each sour beer salt gulp. I loved it.

It's beach season. My exercise frenzy might be a symptom of deeper self-revulsion. I just have had this feeling that spending time in L.A. and New York has made me a prick. And this Don't Try and Take My Guns stuff. Well, fuck. That's fucking awesome. Scratch that. I'm confused. To go out? Shall one?

Word of the Day, Thursday April 23rd

Carapace
- noun
a bony or chitinous shield, test, or shell covering some or all of the dorsal part of an animal, as of a turtle.

The definition is pretty straight forward. But listen how Henry Miller uses it in The Rosy Crucifixion:

Arthur Raymond, on the other hand, gave the illusion of devouring a book's contents...His sole concern was to ingest, to assimilate, to redistribute. He was a vandal. Each new book represented a new conquest. Books fortified his ego. He didn't grow, he became puffed with pride and arrogance. He looked for corroborations in order to sally forth and give battle. He wouldn't permit himself to be made over. He could render tribute to the author he admired but he could never bend the knee. He remained adamant and inflexible; his carapace grew thicker and thicker. He was the type of man who, upon finishing a book, can talk of nothing else for weeks to come.

I especially like the last sentence. Is that you? It sure sounds like me. "Well what you just said really reminds me of this great novel, The Unbearable Lightness of Being...." Don't worry. Miller will come after you. But he likes to criticize because his own moral compass is deceptively strong. In Arthur Raymond there is also a small gem of himself. He attacks him and through that exchange reveals the true, deep extent of his own guilt. Now who's carapace is thick! What a writer. See you tomorrow for Friday's WORD OF THE DAY!

Word of the Day, Wednesday April 22nd

Autochthonous,
- adjective
1. of or pertaining to ideas that arise independently of the individual's own train of thought and seem instead to have some alien or external agency as their source.
2. aboriginal, indigenous

I like this word. You can use it in many different ways, in relation to anthropology, geology, psychology, and of course, my favorite: a summation of the creative process - the sensation that in moments of inspiration, the words are not yours. And you are a living conduit through which an unknown power finally expresses itself. Cool word.

Lawns come roaring back to prominence in Summer Explosion!

Alright everyone. Winter is leaving us. That means we have to spend at least an hour or so a day taking care of these ridiculous things - our yards. I just woke up from a delicious dream where my grass naturally kept its growth in check. I woke to a 190 pound, bed hogging of a yard - and it wants breakfast!

Not many people know this about me, but for a few months I worked as a professional lawn care specialist. I even got to use one of these elegant machines:

The operator rides on a small platform attached to the back. The learning curve is steep for these things, meaning you have no clue for the first five minutes. Then the light comes and you're tearing up yards and dicing lost chewie toys with ease.

My boss was named Wendel King. He named the business King's Lawn Service. Wendel was a recovering crack addict with a large belly and a large nose, a nose that affected the pitch and timbre of his voice. He also had a bad temper and hated panhandlers. He could eat two full sized Chipotle burritos and weed eat a lawn in the hot, summer sun. I remember I had one. I got half way through the first lawn, then I took the truck down to the 7 eleven and bombed the hell out of their bathroom.

Another thing most people don't know about the lawn care industry is this: they're always high. Cutting lawns is so fucking boring. Everyone is on drugs. It's mostly weed, I believe. But some prefer alcohol and cocain. We couldn't do that with Wendel. I was too young anyway. Still, he fired me because he thought I was addicted to drugs.

Excitement!

Not a lot is going on. In a week or so, many Austin shows will be happening. For now, it's just a little downtime and some rest.

I must have spent too much time in Fort Worth, because the chemical urge to return home bled out of me somewhere. I didn't get to go straight from the road to my Austin home; there was a purgatory period in between. I missed that nice flood of relief, also the smell and the apperception of objects carefully arranged by myself, the one of three weeks ago. My pre and post tour selves are beginning to get along better, because the pre tour guy always cleans the room up nice so I don't come back exhausted, then suddenly confronted with my own filth.

Lorca has been a favorite of mine since returning. I like reading his poems in Spanish. I used to say to hell with every other language. Seems to me that English has a simple, squared beauty that other languages miss. That might be a misconception. Or more nearly - every language has a distinct shapeliness and a loveliness of its own.
Like this one line from G.G. Lorca in English and Spanish

A flock
of captive birds
moving their long long
tails in the gloom.

Una bandada

de pájaros cautivos,
que mueven sus larguísimas
colas en lo sombrío.

And the full poem in English:

Landscape

The field
of olive trees
opens and closes
like a fan.
Above the olive grove
a foundering sky
and a dark rain
of cold stars.
Bulrush and penumbra tremble
at the river's edge.
The gray air ripples.
The Olive trees
are laden
with cries.
A flock
of captive birds
moving their long long
tails in the gloom.

Let the Spanish version swirl around in your mouth like a nice taste of wine, or take both and consume them together, like a bit of wine and a nice inhale from a good cigarette. Too bad a couple of Franco soldiers had to brutally murder our boy Lorca. Sometimes you can't expect poems to reach out and grab you. You must oblige and follow them in.

SELLOUT: The Frontier Brothers officially and enthusiastically endorse Pony shoes!

[SELLOUT is a new feature wherein The Frontier Brothers embrace the corporate world with a sense of excitement seldom seen in nature.]



What is not to love about Pony sneakers? Through beaches and bodegas, city halls and shopping malls, urban jungles and regular jungles, my Pony's have never let me down!

I'm gonna be painfully honest for a second. I've never been a very good shoelacer. As a tween, my laces would untangle at the worst possible moments. Those damn shoestrings were chiefly to blame for the "famous first date pratfall of freshman year." She never forgave me. Her dress was stained with balsamic vinaigrette. Even as an adult, it is only through the greatest concentration and footed feats that my laces stay tied.

With my Pony's, that's a thing of the past!

We ran into the team Pony (Colin & Tess) at SXSW and they hooked us up with sneakers from the back of their van, drug-deal style. Ever since, the frontier gang has been seen proudly sporting the pony logo. You should see Marshall's deep purple kicks. They turn heads. I'm not kidding!

Anyhoo, the Pony cats hooked us up and I thought we'd return the favor. So attention earthlings, go forth into the economy and return clad in the dankest footwear this side of ...

uh..

end.

-B

Or I could get buried in sand.

It was a cocoon of sand. My field of view was the great expanse of ocean. Quite meditative, actually. Like being in the womb.




Pictures courtesy of the esteemed D.Hall - the guy in the top photo

Do you like our new myspace look?

I redesigned the myspace today. Do you guys like it?

"Infinite Goon Starlet"

Like all self-absorbed young bandies, I perform the daily ritual of self-googling. In other words, I type "the frontier brothers" into google and see what comes up. A new review, a shout out, or- as is the case tonight- something completely different. From the esteemed "Geneva's Space Blog" comes this gem:

Space-rockers THE FRONTIER BROTHERS loved touring the east seacoast suchly in 2008, they determined to pack upwards the intergalactic cruiser for another wave-off.

Born in infinite and raised in TX, the Frontier Brothers synthesise an original blend of psychedelia, 60s pop and toughie esthetic, which is masterfully exemplified on their launching album, Infinite Goon Starlet.


Unrecorded performances typically happen. The lot overdress in their signature colorful full-body spandex suits. According to Galactic, the set will be touring in a `` Nantex-class territorial defense star scrapper ( forwent X-wing ) '' with `` whitish pigment, Ag wheels, fullly functional headlamps and Proton torpedoes. ''




To summarize,

What the hell?

And other question,

WHY?

- B


UPDATE:

I just noticed this gem. Beneath the post is a calendar of our last east coast tour dates.
February 10th... Nashville.
February 11th... Athens, TA
February 12th - Lincoln's birthday

wow.

Night is getting weird already...

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Gay Elephant

FROM HUFFPOST:

Ninio, a male elephant acquired by a Poland's Poznan Zoo who has demonstrated a total lack of interest in the ladies, is now drawing fire from Michal Grzes, a conservative politician angered over what he sees as a wasted investment. Here are Grzes' statements, from the Telegraph:

"We didn't pay 37 million zlotys (7.6 million pounds) for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there," said Mr Grzes, who is from the right-wing opposition Law and Justice party.

"We were supposed to have a herd, but as Ninio prefers male friends over females how will he produce offspring?" said.

However, the zoo's director is defending Ninio from Grzes' haranguing by arguing that the recalcitrant elephant may be too young to decide his sexual orientation just yet. Ninio, being ten years-old, is four years short of elephant-sexual-maturity, according to the Telegraph.

back when Marshall had long hair (or pictures from Blue Bird St. Louis show)

The Frontier Brothers @ Apple Jacks

Some people...

Matt is dying his hair blonde. What else is new?

There was a trashy obese woman sitting at adjacent table at dinner last night.

Waiter: I already ran your card twice, I'm sorry ma'am but it's being declined.
Woman: I talked to the godamn credit card company yesterday! Run it again!
Waiter: Uh, okay. You know, if you want to leave your ID here with me you can come back and pay tomorrow.
Woman: You're making me look like an ass, you know that!? I leave TWENTY dollar tips everytime I come here. This is bullshit!
Waiter: I'm sorry but if you can't pay I'm going to have to call the cops.
Woman: The cops? What the hell? I'm never coming back to this trash heap. This place is ridiculous!
Me: Ma'am, calm down, he's just doing his job.
Woman: Shut up you fagoty asshole! Go away!
Me: You're out of control.

I walk out of the room and come back a few minutes later. Not only has this woman walked out on her check, she has managed to crush her chair under her immense weight.

Some people...

sigh...

Brett

West Coast, continued

The Orange, CA house party was everything it was cracked up to be. I hid my Tecate 40 oz. and a couple of beers in the refrigerator so no scroungers would get a hold of them. We tried to videotape the show, but our computer gave out and the condenser mic got some pretty weird room noise.

We went to crystal cove and had some beach time. This is all just event listing right now. I don't have much commentary on the events because I haven't been thinking much, just doing. A lot of ideas are cooking in my brain right now, but none connected to day to day happenings.

Some pictures from the beach should be up soon. Yesterday we visited Venice Beach. Not so crystal, more meth - a truly nasty place. I can't say I subtracted from the aura of the overused and sick. Here is a deceased duck found off the strip.

The state of my clothing; eating up the world like everyone else with sneaky boozing.

A show in Long Beach (prospector) and LA (the good hurt) await. Then home, hopefully. The brakes of the vehicle are now dying, the lines are sweating out brake fluid. The smog makes palms look ugly and sad. The highway is very dangerous, and we'll have to travel that tonight to get out to Long Beach.

Some images to mind examine

Setting up in Orange, CA

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The Andrews Gallery, big San Diego show!

People in San Diego, come to The Andrews Gallery. It's a cool art gallery. I hear they are painting the back wall red and erecting a gigantic mirror on the opposing wall. This should go well with my red face stripe. 

The address is 1002 North Coast Highway 101, Encinitas, CA. The show should be @ (at) 7:00 p.m. I'll have my whiskey, but you can't have any. Ah, maybe you can. See you there. 

Out West, Dry River Collective, Radicals and Stars

Well, we're on tour. We just played our first show of this particular tour at the Dry River Collective. They are a bunch of political radicals who run a little place on donations. We actually got paid 95 bucks, really good. This band Octopus Place played after us, really good riff rock, like rush and pavement starting a band.

The generator on the RV doesn't operate correctly, but the engine does. The vehicle runs well. The refrigerator no longer smells like oyster po-boys, but the freezer does. We never open the freezer.

I'm trying to save money, so I bought a bottle of cheap whiskey to use. I want to buy less drinks.

Things are going well so far, the stars are wonderful in Tuscon. The city uses low candle orange street lamps to preserve the view. 

Our friend Jared shacked us up for the night and we got a chance to play some Halo 3. I got a couple killing frenzies, dominated, no big deal. 

The drive out here wasn't as beautiful because the clouds covered up the moon; it was thin in the first place. You couldn't watch the mountains pass by at night, like bunches of fluffy pillows floating down stream. That's what it looked like with the light of the big, full moon we got last time. 

It's okay. 

See you in California!