Relaxation

I've been searching for the proper inspiration and now I have it. Jenny Wright in Near Dark. I sure do love her. And this is different. Real, true, and deep love. But I have to wonder - would she have spared me too? 

Now she's 46. I did the math on my macbook using the dashboard calculator, so I'm sure it is correct.

You know what else is really getting under my skin? These soap commercials are getting on my nerves. Who would want a million tiny women shooting up their nose, tangled in their hair and generally running wild? Not only in the realm of skyscrapers and pastoral landscapes but on a nano level, bent on fulfilling a set of prophecies at the expense of their well-being? 

I don't use body wash. No one who uses that crap has anything to wash off. They're just grooming out of habit, like a cat. Soap is the key, the good old easy effective stuff. If you're really dirty though, like maybe if you got some kind of powerful glue on your fingers, you can use paint thinner or anti-bacterial kitchen cleaner - that'll take it right off.

Back from tour now, as Brett mentioned. I've pulled through the usual bout of dark depression fairly well; This time I knew it was coming. I want to rest, but I'm used to moving. I feel angry when I rest, angry at myself. That reminds of my original intention here. 

When you return, you tell yourself to relax. For some, that means blowing off steam. But for touring persons, this compulsion only serves to elongate the sensation of loneliness, touring. Relaxation is the opposite of what strains us. Returning home means fitness, exercise. It means doing your best not to speak. Every night out there, the tourer puts something out and takes something in. He or she blasts all this stuff on stage every night, right out there for someone or anyone who cares. They do this for an hour or thirty minutes. Then, the touring person takes things in: complements, who cares, and alcohol. The mind and the mouth are two-way sets of nozzles designed to send and receive information all night. That's the work. Not so much physical, more the speaking and receiving, living for extended periods of time with another body near.

Relaxation is not speaking. Relaxation is storing that precious energy up once again. It is sweating, staring at walls, and playing with fallen tree branches. Very nice things.