Notice... (TFB at the Pure Volume House)

Notice the hand all the way around the waist. Nice Marshall. Then again, who wouldn't be charmed out of their panties when presented with a full superman hair curl? 

Choke down enough free Monster and Mango vodkas and see how you behave. 

Jackie Chan, Kick Ass, Conspiracy Theory

Just watched Police Story 2 starring Jackie Chan. Now most of you mongoloids only know this man from Shanghai Knights and that Rush Hour filth. You might not realize that Jackie Chan is in fact the most badass person in all of pan-asia. I can't say the world, because no one can compete with Dolph Lundgren and Don Frye. 

But moving on. The most perplexing part of Jackie Chan's early movies involves a certain supporting acter, an actor involved in nearly every early Chan flick. Going by the name "Uncle," this man has appeared in such classics as Rumble in the Bronx, Super Cop, Operation Condor, Jackie Chan's First Strike, and Police Story 1 &2. 

The presence of "Uncle" arouses certain questions, uncomfortable questions. If "Uncle" is Jackie's kin in every movie, are these films all interrelated in a certain way? This frightens me. What kind of message might Chan be sending to us? 

Might some conspiracy be afoot, or might this plot have already worked its panic amongst the world way back in the 90's? I really can't believe Chan would have the audacity to try and slip the obvious links right under our noses. I know he can scale walls easily, and even barefoot ski. But trickery? I never thought of it. 

But Uncle is so sweet. He's just so...Uncle. I can't truly suspect any schemes from him; it wasn't his idea. 

I'll continue to go over Jackie's filmography and look for consistent motifs or whatever, themes, memes, or archetypes or...symbols. 

All I can really expect out of anyone reading this blog is this: watch Rumble in the Bronx. Buy three 40 oz.   You need to have finished your first when the store gets looted, your second when the diamonds thieves through their guns into the dumpster and your third when Jackie Chan beats up the 40 punks in a pool hall hangout. Then relax and enjoy the kick ass. 

You will not suspect a thing. 

Jackie Chan (Uncle in the background):

Scrabble

Dear Earthlings,

I've recently discovered one of man's great pleasures. Facebook scrabble. Such a sensible marriage of traditional and cutting edge, don't you think? I currently have 6 concurrent scrabble matches and I can make a move each time I log on to my account. There is no rush, since we aren't sitting around the kitchen table, and I can meditate freely.

Here is a game I'm working on with my human friend Reid.



Notice my genius use of the word "etcetera." I used all my letters. Did you know this move is called a "scrabble"?

Feel free to challenge me. If you dare.

- Brett

TFB In the Rainbow Mist

The Frontier Brothers Promoting Bizarre, Interesting Doll Company