The Sublime and the Tacky

From Shakespeare's Henry V,

For these fellows of infinite tongue, that can rhyme themselves into ladies' favours, they do always reason themselves out again...A speaker is but a prater, a rhyme is but a ballad; a good led will fail, a straight back will stoop, a black beard will turn white, a curled pate will grow bald, a fair face will whither, a full eye will become hollow, but a good heart, Kate, is the and the moon, for it shines bright and never changes, but keeps his course truly.

Isn't that nice? Beautiful. I teard up a bit when I read this. But then again I was behind on my med schedule.

Now for something crass and tacky. I was supposed to write a piece for this magazine, for a story called 10 Worst Band Experiences of all Time. I could have been truthful, outlined the all too frequent scenarios: bad sound, asshole door guy, skimpy pay. Instead I chose to expound on another aspect of the band experience. I apologive, especially to Peter, who took the time to post a nice comment on my last entry and who no doubt has some sensitivities when it comes to sexism. I also apologive for how shitty the thing really is. I even missed the dead line.

Well, I have a big problem with clubs; they don't have a system for keeping out ex-girlfriends. In the music world, we have a unique lexicon. When you know a girl is attractive and she's really excited to come the show, she might be what we call a "prospect." Propects and ex-girlfriends should never be allowed to identify each other. If that happens, the whole thing is blasted to hell. Even a casual comment. "Who do you know in the band?" (Disastrous) Oh yes, those past and maybe all too present flames with definitely brag about your shared past together. The two will inevitably form a bond, thus excluding you and elminitating the prospect. This all sounds sexist. It is. It's tragic. But let's be practical.

A few remedies, maybe a "no" list with names and physical descriptions. The dialogue would go like this.

Door Guy "Are you Mary Kabob?"
Ex "Yes"
DG "The Frontier Brothers are not playing tonight."
Ex "Are you sure? They are still on the list."
DG "Nope, they cancelled."
Ex "You're kidding." (really dry delivery )
She pokes her head in the door.
Ex "Wait, that's them setting up!"
DG "No, it's not. Show's cancelled."
Ex "LOVE MEEEE!"
DG "You're making a scene."